DESIRE DIFFERENCES
Since sexual activity between partners takes two, one partner's lack of interest in sex—whether it is the result of ISD or not— invariably affects the other partner. Of course, if both partners have relatively low sex drives, neither one may mind the other's lack of interest. And if one partner never really enjoyed sex, that person may actually be relieved when the other's sexual desire decreases or disappears. Others feel disappointed, but not threatened by the situation.
However, many men and women do indeed feel threatened by their partners' lack of interest in sex. They interpret it as a personal rejection and feel deprived, frustrated, hurt, or furious. Some become depressed or obsessed, devoting enormous amounts of time and emotional energy to finding ways to ignite their partners' sexual desire and suffering additional anguish each time they fail to do so—as Barbara and Dan dramatically demonstrated. In fact, Barbara and Dan originally suffered from a desire dependency disorder. But because of the additional stress Dan experienced after he started his own business and his passively angry reaction to Barbara's escalatin demands for more sex, he went from having low desire t" feeling no desire and suffering from ISD.
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